The day after Gideon died, I sat in a chair in the living room the entire day. There was a box of tissues on the table next to me and I think I used the entire box in one day. I didn’t eat because I wasn’t hungry and I honestly wasn’t sure if I would …
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue a restraining order against Keller. That felt so harsh and so final. What if he got help? What if he changed? What if I wanted him to be in our lives at some point in the future? If I pursued a restraining order, I knew there would …
The pastor at church last week said something that really stuck out to me. He said, “Everyone wants to experience a miracle, but nobody wants to need one.” I’ve been in a place where I was in need of a miracle. It was a terrifying position to be in. I was sitting in a Planned …
Sometimes I catch myself dwelling on my disappointments. I focus on the fact that I’m still looking for a job, that I’m still single at 32, and that, at this point, my life doesn’t look like I imagined it would. It’s so easy for my negative thoughts to completely take over and leave me feeling …
Keller and I met on a dating app. We talked on the phone for 6 months before meeting in person (oh the joys of modern “dating”). During those few months, Keller and I got to know each other. He told me about his family life – or lack thereof according to him. He told me …
After I told Keller I was keeping our baby, we got into a huge fight on the phone. During that conversation, Keller told me he was committing suicide. I felt trapped. He was screaming at me so I didn’t want to continue the conversation, but how could I hang up the phone knowing he was …
Aside from telling my family and a few friends, I kept my pregnancy a secret for the first few months. I didn’t trust myself not to burst into tears when I talked about what was going on. I wasn’t ready for people’s reactions – excitement or pity – for my situation. I didn’t know how …