It’s been almost two years since Gideon went to Heaven. It feels like forever and yesterday all at the same time. The numbness is wearing off and reality is settling in. In the midst of my grief, I am comforted knowing death does not have the final say because Jesus conquered the grave. On May …
One of my biggest fears after Gideon’s death was meeting new people. I had no idea how I was going to tell them about the most important person in my life, that they would never be able to meet. The only way people would get to know Gideon was by me telling stories about him. …
I never thought I would associate the word “dread” with Mother’s Day. After all, I always wanted to be a mother. I have been dreading this day for a few months now. I think the anticipation has made things worse. Now that it’s here, I feel a deep sadness. This is my first Mother’s Day …
I had the privilege of sharing my testimony at the Care Net Women’s Resource Center of North County’s annual banquet a few weeks ago. I wanted to share with you what I said during those few minutes. I hope being able to read this encourages someone who needs a reminder that God is faithful even …
I thought something was wrong with me. I wasn’t crying. The tears wouldn’t come even when I willed them to. Everyone around me was crying, but I could not cry. My tears flowed so heavily those first couple of days. Then they just stopped. When I imagined how I would react if something terrible happened, …
The day after Gideon died, I sat in a chair in the living room the entire day. There was a box of tissues on the table next to me and I think I used the entire box in one day. I didn’t eat because I wasn’t hungry and I honestly wasn’t sure if I would …
On May 23, 2022 at 4:55 pm, Gideon was happily walking with me to the mailbox. We needed to mail some letters and then we were going to walk to the train – his “favorite place in the world.” He was pushing one of his favorite toy trucks. In the blink of an eye, he …
Repudiate (verb) to reject with denial. I saw a viral video posted by Becky Martin last week of a her sharing her story. She found out she was pregnant in high school and was faced with a big decision. The video closed caption asks if she wanted to have an abortion – the Becky points …
I usually look forward to the start of a new year. I take time to reflect on the past year and set new goals for the new year. But this year, I just felt blah. I experienced a major setback a few years ago. I left a city I loved and had to move back …
Shame was a label I thought I would have to wear forever. I felt so much shame for such a long time. Shame over getting pregnant. Shame about the life I was living. Shame that things didn’t work with Keller. Shame about being a single mom. Shame for becoming a statistic as an unemployed single …