Keller and I met on a dating app. We talked on the phone for 6 months before meeting in person (oh the joys of modern “dating”). During those few months, Keller and I got to know each other. He told me about his family life – or lack thereof according to him. He told me …
After I told Keller I was keeping our baby, we got into a huge fight on the phone. During that conversation, Keller told me he was committing suicide. I felt trapped. He was screaming at me so I didn’t want to continue the conversation, but how could I hang up the phone knowing he was …
Fear – that was the emotion I was feeling on November 1, 2018 when I walked into Planned Parenthood. In fact, I had been living in fear in the form of: incredible anxiety, nausea, lack of appetite, and restlessness (not being able to sleep, not being able to concentrate on work, not being able to …
The 2 year anniversary of me finding out I was pregnant is this week. My whole world changed on October 30, 2018. I was terrified to tell my family I was pregnant. I almost allowed that fear to convince me to abort my child. Instead, I had my baby and I am so glad I …
When people started to find out I was pregnant, I was astonished at the response. I had convinced myself that people would judge me. However, I got the exact opposite response. People went above and beyond to make me and my unborn baby feel loved and supported. My sister put out a message on Facebook …
It was the appointment every pregnant woman looks forward to – the 20 week anatomy scan. This is the big ultrasound appointment where you can find out the gender of your baby and you get a whole bunch of adorable pictures of the baby as the doctor takes measurements. I remember being so excited to …
I came home to California because I was a mess. I needed help mentally and emotionally. I was so beaten down, my own family didn’t recognize me. My Dad described it as though I had been completely taken over by another person. I knew I needed help. I reached out to a friend to see …
Once I decided it was time for me to go back to California, I had 1 week to get everything done. To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. I had to transition projects for work, pack up my stuff, and figure out what I needed to bring for a newborn. My plan was to …
Relent (verb): to cease resistance. Things with Keller kept getting consistently worse and worse. I kept thinking I could make him realize his behavior wasn’t rational. I thought I could convince him that us being together was not going to work. I thought I could fix him. I thought if I loved him enough I …
Aside from telling my family and a few friends, I kept my pregnancy a secret for the first few months. I didn’t trust myself not to burst into tears when I talked about what was going on. I wasn’t ready for people’s reactions – excitement or pity – for my situation. I didn’t know how …