If I’m being honest, this past week was tough. I don’t like when things are out of my control and almost everything seemed out of my control.
The roads were extremely icy on my drive to work. I called 911 and reported 3 accidents involving multiple vehicles along the way. The power went out. We were without power or heat for 3 days and it was extremely cold outside. It was too cold to stay in our house so we had to couchsurf. We had to boil and conserve our water. It’s fine to conserve water, but of course I was planning to do laundry the day the power went out so we were running out of clean clothes. My toddler is teething which has made him clingy, cranky, and indecisive. He has definitely tested my patience these last few days. The internet went out when I finally had a moment to get work done.
There were many good things that happened this week too though.
I made it to work safely and didn’t get in an accident. We had multiple people offer to let us stay with them. They provided a warm place to stay and shower. We got to socialize with friends and family. We didn’t have any pipes burst and our water was never turned off. I had a lot of time for snuggles with my little one.
I don’t want to minimize the stress of the week or be over dramatic about it. I know there was a lot to be thankful for and there were many people who were way worse off than we were. But, overall, it was just a frustrating week and I have been extremely discouraged. I’ve been relying on my own strength and it just too much
Everything was out of my control – the weather, the lack of power, my cranky toddler. When things are out of my control I start shutting down and I shut people out. I don’t ask for help or let anyone help me. I get snappy. Definitely not my finest moments.
I was reminded that it isn’t my job to carry the load on my own – I have to surrender to Jesus daily. I resist surrendering because it means giving up control. Instead, I fight until I’m exhausted, discouraged, and usually worse off than I started. Surrendering to Jesus is something I’m going to have to work on. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says,
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
“Help Is On The Way” by Toby Mac gives me a great mental image. The lyrics say, “So I’m holding on to His promises that He’s rolling up His sleeves again.” God is rolling up His sleeves on our behalf (Psalms 98). What a promise! We are not forgotten even during the hard times. We can rely on God. He is there to help us, all we have to do is ask.
So, even though I’m discouraged, I’m clinging to the promise that God cares for me and is rolling up His sleeves to help me. I’m surrendering all of my anxieties to Him. I’m relying on God to do what He promised.
Love, Redeemed Mama