“Pregnant.” The blue plus sign showed up so quickly on the pregnancy test. It wasn’t like on TV where the woman waits for a few minutes to get the results. The plus sign on my test was dark blue and appeared within seconds. There was no mistaking it, I was pregnant.
For a brief moment, I was excited. I was going to be a Mom! Being pregnant was a dream come true for me. However, this moment didn’t feel like I’d always imagined it would. My excitement quickly faded and was replaced with dread for everything that was to come:
- How would Keller react? We weren’t even officially dating and now we were having a child together.
- How would I tell my parents? They would be so disappointed in me because I knew better than to be having sex.
- What would people think of me? I was a good girl and now everyone would know what I was doing in my private life.
I called Keller and broke the news to him. For a few seconds he was quiet, then he said, “We’ll figure this out.” I was momentarily encouraged by that response. I wouldn’t have to go through all of this alone. However, we had different ideas of what figuring it out looked like. He asked if I would consider having an abortion. He said he wasn’t ready to be a father. A baby would ruin all of his future plans. I told him abortion wasn’t an option for me. I wasn’t going to lay there on the table while they removed my baby from my womb. Besides, I didn’t believe in abortion. Clearly, we were not on the same page. Keller and I ended the conversation by agreeing to both think about things and talk later.
I needed someone to help me get some perspective on what to do. I went to see one of my coworkers affectionately nicknamed, Grandma. In typical Grandma fashion, she gave me a big hug and told me I first needed to get an official confirmation of the pregnancy from a doctor. We immediately went to the hospital and had them perform a pregnancy test. The doctor came in and confirmed I was pregnant. She told me I was 5 weeks along and my baby’s expected due date was June 27, 2019. The doctor gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and left the room. When I came out, Grandma was waiting for me. She wrapped me up in a hug and told me I would be a great mom. I didn’t mention that Keller wanted me to have an abortion. I left still feeling unsure about what I was going to do.
Later that night, I talked to Keller and told him the doctor confirmed I was pregnant. He said I should look into the abortion pill. He said it was just like taking the Morning After Pill or a Plan B pill and it would be like the pregnancy never happened. He was really advocating hard for me to take the abortion pill so we could both go on with our lives as if the pregnancy never happened. He kept telling me I wasn’t going to be able to support this baby on my own and that he did not want to be involved. What he was suggesting was beginning to sound appealing. I wouldn’t have to tell my parents if this pregnancy “went away.” I wouldn’t have to figure out how to afford daycare in the city. No one would even have to know I was pregnant if I took the abortion pill. The way Keller was describing the abortion pill made it seem so harmless. Maybe the abortion pill was the answer to all of my problems.
Let’s stop here. It’s important to clarify that, unlike what I was being told, emergency contraception pills (aka Morning After and Plan B) are not the same as the abortion pill. Emergency contraception pills prevent a pregnancy while abortion pills teminate a pregnancy. That is a big difference. Misinformation like that is why it is so important to have all of the facts, understand the procedures, and know the risks associated with abortion in order to make an informed decision. Deciding whether or not to terminate a pregnancy is a big decision that should not be made lightly. There are two types of abortions — medical abortions and surgical abortions. The type of abortion available often depends on how far along the pregnancy is.
Medical abortions are most effective up to 10 weeks from the woman’s last menstrual period. According to Americanpregnancy.org, the “abortion pill” is a term commonly used to reference the medications (mifepristone and misoprostol or methotrexate) used to terminate the pregnancy. The first pill contains mifepristone which blocks progesterone (a hormone needed for the uterus to support a pregnancy) from being recognized by the uterus. This results in the lining of the uterus breaking down, effectively ending the life of the developing embryo. After taking the first pill, the woman waits 24 to 48 hours and then takes the second pill. The second pill contains misoprostol which causes the uterus to contract, effectively expelling the deceased embryo from the woman’s body. This process is usually accompanied by strong cramps and heavy bleeding. The woman is encouraged to “watch the toilet” to ensure the embryo is passed from her body.
It is important to point out there is a way to reverse the effects of the abortion pill. According to Abortion Pill Rescue, the abortion pill reversal procedure is 64-68% effective in saving the pregnancy when taken within 24 hours after taking the first abortion pill (mifepristone). The abortion pill reversal process involves flooding the woman with progesterone to override the mifepristone. If you have taken mifepristone (the first abortion pill) and are now second-guessing your decision, please contact the Abortion Pill Reversal Helpline at 1-877-558-0333 for more information and to find a provider near you who can help.
Surgical abortions are performed by opening the woman’s cervix and using instruments to suction, grasp, pull, and/or scrape the pregnancy out of the uterus. According to Americanpregnancy.org, the exact method for removing the pregnancy from the uterus varies depending on the gestational age of the baby. Smaller babies are suctioned out. Larger babies are crushed and dismembered inside the uterus before being removed in pieces. Once removed, the pieces of the baby are placed back together on a tray to ensure no pieces were left inside the woman.
There are physical and emotional side effects and risks associated with both medical and surgical abortions. Americanpregnancy.org lists the physical side effects and risks of abortion as:
- Abdominal pain and cramping
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Diarrhea
- Heavy and persistent bleeding
- Infection or sepsis
- Damage to the cervix
- Scarring of the uterine lining
- Perforation of the uterus
- Damage to other organs
- Death
The emotional side effects of abortion are just as important to consider. Americanpregnancy.org claims, “psychological and emotional side effects of abortion are more common than physical side effects.” The emotional side effects of abortion can range from mild to severe and include:
- Regret
- Anger
- Guilt
- Shame
- Sense of loneliness or isolation
- Loss of self-confidence
- Insomnia or nightmares
- Relationship issues
- Suicidal thoughts and feelings
- Eating disorders
- Depression
- Anxiety
If you’re upset by the these descriptions of abortion, you should be. Abortion providers like Planned Parenthood have glossed over what abortion really is. As a result, millions of women have had abortions and many of them say they had no idea what abortion was. Planned Parenthood markets the abortion pill in particular as a “safe and effective” way to have an abortion and get on with life. They praise the abortion pill for providing a way for a woman to have an abortion from anywhere. I don’t know about you, but some of the side effects and risks do not seem all that “safe” to me.
Clever marketing and misrepresenting the process can make abortion seem appealing in certain situations. I wanted a way out of having to tell my parents I was pregnant. Keller wanted a way out of being a father. However, there is one thing Planned Parenthood fails to tell you — your life is forever changed whether or not you choose to have an abortion. I knew I could never unsee my positive pregnancy test. I would always remember that my child’s due date was June 27, 2019. My life would never be the same. But I didn’t want to think about that. I had to convince myself that taking the abortion pill would be no big deal. I had to convinced myself that taking the abortion pill was the right thing to do. I had to convince myself that I could pretend like I was never pregnant. I believed the lie that I couldn’t raise a child on my own. I gave into fear. That is how I went from not believing in abortion to walking into a Planned Parenthood and asking for the abortion pill.
Love,
Redeemed Mama
Although this is the end of this week’s blog post, this is not the end of my story. If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy or have had an abortion in the past, I would love to pray with you. There are also resources below for confidential and compassionate support. Remember, you are not alone despite how it feels at this moment. Take comfort in Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Resources
- Text “Help” to 313131 to get connected with a life-affirming pregnancy center near you.
- For 24/7 help on abortion pill reversal visit abortionpillreversal.com or call 1-877-558-0333.
- If you or someone you know is experiencing abortion regret, you can get confidential, compassionate support from the National Helpline for Abortion Recovery, or call 1-866-482-LIFE.
- Visit StandUpGirl.com for a full list of crisis support resources.
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